The Giants Big Toe
by LordofCamels
Summary: Would you rather be stranded on a desert island alone or with someone you hate? Sasha and Connie talk about stupid shit and other people join in. I try to keep it short, sweet, and in character. No pairings.
1. Islands and Friendship

**I realized I have nothing left to say in this author comment section. All I really have to say about these fanficitons is don't expect much of a plot. I just thought these characters seem like they talk about stuff in between crazy suicide missions, crying, and gnashing their teeth.**

**Yeah.**

**Please review.**

* * *

"Would you rather be stranded on a desert island alone or with someone you hate?" Connie asked Sasha at lunch one day.

"Why are you asking?" Sasha asked back.

"Just cause."

Sasha paused in her ravenous eating. "I don't know. Hey Marco! Would you rather be stranded alone on an island or with someone you hate?"

Marco, who was sitting at the table next to them with Jean, looked over at Sasha. "Hm... I think I'd rather be with someone I hate." He said.

"Why?" Connie asked.

"Because we'd probably become friends while we were stranded together."

Jean rolled his eyes. "If anyone other than you said that, I'd punch them in the face."

"What about you Jean?" Marco asked happily. "Would you rather be alone or with someone you hate?"

"Alone." Jean said, picking up his soup bowl and slurping noisily.

"Why?" Connie asked.

"Because if I was on an island with someone I hate, I'd probably end up being alone pretty quick." At this, Jean threw a nasty look at Eren, who was eating lunch with Mikasa and Armin across the dining hall.

"Don't mind him," Marco said. "he's just grumpy because Eren outdid him up with the 3D gear yesterday when he balanced all by himself with a broken belt. He's jealous."

"Am not." Said Jean. Then he realized how stupid he'd sounded. "What about you Sasha, would you rather be stuck on an island alone or with your arch nemesis?"

Sasha swallowed her mouthful of food with dignity before answering. "Someone I hate."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I'm gonna need something to eat eventually."


	2. Rich or Immortal?

**Oh look another one of these.** **And I still don't have anything to say about it.**

**People seemed to be upset that Sasha talked about eating a person in the last story. She probably wouldn't actually do that, but she seems like she has food on her mind a lot, so that answer fit her personality in my opinion.**

**I don't really ever know what I'm talking about.**

* * *

"Would you rather be the richest person alive, or immortal?" Sasha asked one day, as the remaining members of the 104th trainee squad ate their first lunch in the Survey Corps. Jean groaned.

"Well," Connie said. "that depends on what you mean by immortal. Could I still feel pain?"

Sasha thought about it. "Yes." She said, taking a bite of soup.

"So what would happen if I got chopped into itty bitty pieces, or digested by a titan? Would I stay a puddle of goo and still be sentiment?"

"Sentient." Jean corrected.

"Yeah, that."

"I guess you'd just re-form into a regular person if that happened." Sasha said.

"How much would that hurt."

"Depends."

"On what? See, you need to think these questions through a little more carefully before you ask them." Connie tore into a piece of bread viscerally and chewed with a look of smugness on his face that Jean found uniquely irritating.

"I guess that wasn't a very good question." Sasha admitted. "How about this one. Would you rather not be able to feel pain or loose your arm?"

"Not be able to feel pain, duh!" Connie said, "What kind of a question is that?"

"No, you see, if you can't feel pain you wouldn't know if something was bad for you." Sasha explained. "You could stick your hand into a fire without even noticing it, and burn off all your flesh."

"I wonder what burning flesh smells like?" Connie wondered aloud.

"You don't need to wonder." Sasha reminded him. "You've already smelt it. But you didn't answer my question."

"Yeah I did, I'd rather not feel pain."

"Even after what I just said?"

"Yeah."

"Me too." Sasha agreed. "I'd feel useless without my arm. I guess I'd just have to be really careful around fire, and I'd have to be careful not to cut my fingers off when I help with the cooking. It'd suck if there was just a finger floating in the soup one day..."

Jean pushed his barely eaten soup away from him, his spoon clattering on the table next to it. "I don't know why I eat with you guys." He muttered.


	3. Dead Wall

**Not sure if you all noticed, but I drew a cover for this story! It depicts Sasha attacking a Titan's toe. Not sure how well you guys can see it. Yes, I did actually draw that myself, otherwise it would look more professional and less obnoxiously pretentious. I even circled the big toe with red.**

**I know people usually find a drawing online and using photoshop to avoid copyright infringement, and that's probably what I should have done, but I had fun drawing the cover myself, just like I have fun writing these little ****stories. I look forward to uploading them and read every one of your reviews with a smile on my face even if I don't always respond.**

**This story is based on a question I got asked once.**

* * *

"If you were a wall, what type of wall would you be?"

It was lunch, and Sasha, Connie, and Jean were sharing a table. Jean looked at Connie, although the question had clearly been directed at Sasha. "The hell kind of question is that?" He asked.

"I don't know," Sasha said through a mouthful of bread. "Wall Sina I guess."

"Why?"

"Cause it's least likely to get a giant hole kicked in it."

"That's cool, but I was thinking more like, what type of wall would you be not including the three big walls." Connie explained.

"You thought about this question before you asked it?" Jean asked incredulously.

Sasha and Connie continued to ignore him. "In that case," Sasha said, finishing her bread and following it up with a hearty mouthful of soup, "I'd be a little stone wall like the ones at my village. I don't think we really used them for anything, but they were nice."

"I'd be a secret wall." Connie said proudly. "One that looks like a bookshelf, but when you press a secret button, it swings outward and reveals a secret lair."

"You know what kind of wall Levi would be?" Jean asked. "A short one. Get it? Cause he's short?" Sasha and Connie didn't laugh. They were staring at a spot slightly above Jean's head. Jean turned around and found himself face to face the very corporal he'd just finished insulting. "Oh shi-Hey corporal!" Jean laughed nervously, "How long have you been standing there?"

Levi just stared at him.

"I didn't mean- What I meant was-"

"You know what kind of wall your gonna be if you don't shut up?" Levi asked. "A dead one."

"Yes sir."

"Finish your soup." With that, Levi turned and strolled off.

Sasha and Connie burst into fits of giggles as Jean burred his head in his arms, face burning with embarrassment. "Dead wall," Sasha snorted. "thats a good one."

"Shut the fuck up." Jean grumbled.


	4. Color Blind

**Hey! Guess who's not dead! Now that it's summer I should be able to write some more. Whether it's this fanfiction or something else, only time will tell.**

* * *

"Would you rather lose your ability to taste and smell or your ability to see colors?" Sasha asked.

"Ooh, that's a good one." Connie said. "You're getting good at this."

"Hold on." Jean said. "If you couldn't see any color at all, wouldn't you just see nothing? Isn't that basically asking us if we'd rather be blind?"

"No, you could see blacks and whites. And also grays I guess." Sasha said.

"Those are all colors too."

"Fine. Would you rather lose your ability to taste and smell or would you rather see in black and white and grays."

"Well you know, some people can't see colors. They're color blind."

"And are you color blind?"

"No."

"So why are you complaining?"

"Do we have any people who are color blind in the Survey corps?" Connie asked.

"I don't think so." Jean said.

"No we do have one." Sasha said. "Simon Chakitel. Seventh squad."

"He's color blind?" Jean asked, absently scraping the sides of his empty soup bowl with his spoon.

"Yeah. I'm never sure how to pronounce his name. Is it Chakitel or is it like Shak-teel?"

"Chakitel."

"Oh. You know, I used to think your name was pronounced Jeen, but it's really more like Jon."

"So how does he see the flares?" Connie asked. "Cause they're colored, and he can't see colors."

"Well he can see some colors Connie." Sasha said. "He just has trouble with others. He told me that sometimes red and green look like gray, but he can tell the red shade of gray apart from the green shade of gray."

"Weird." Connie said. "I don't think I could live without colors. I think I'd rather lose taste."

"Not me." Jean said. "I don't need to see in colors."

"But then how would you see flares."

"Simple Connie. Green would be one shade of gray, and red would be a darker shade of gray. What about you Sasha? Taste or color?"

"I'd rather lose taste." Sasha said,

"What?" Connie asked, "But you're potato girl!"

"It's not so much the taste of the food I enjoy," Sasha said, taking a bite of her potato. "It's the not-being-hungry-all-the-time part that I really love."


End file.
